The Classifieds

1969 Dodge Charger
Orange, numbers on doors, Confederate flag on roof, doors welded shut, $1200

GMC van, black, red stripe up side, $1000. Also, large jewellery-clad angry black man, ain’t going on no plane fool, hence $100. Ageing cigar chewing commander, loves it when plan comes together, $110. Baseball cap wearing helicopter pilot, slightly howlin’ mad, hence $70. Swoopy haired smoothy, $120. Or $350 the set, will include pointless journalist woman for free

Pontiac Trans Am, black, auto, air-con, forward facing brake light, turbo boost, ejector seats, indestructible. Irritatingly smartass voice in dash, $750.

Stuntman for hire: Might fall from a tall building, roll brand new car etc. Never spent much time in school, but taught ladies plenty, hire my body out for pay, ahey, hey. Call 1-800-Fall-Guy

Note: This is not an actual Classified Ad

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