Archive for October, 2004

I am not even sure what to say about this!

Friday, October 29th, 2004

I do not know what to say so I won’t. You can see it for yourself. A good friend of mine sent me this:

http://magic-cone.com/index.htm

Hang Up And Drive! And other road rants!

Friday, October 29th, 2004

Why is it that when people talk on their cell phone, they forget how to drive? And those of you who do it, don’t give me that shit that you are driving just fine or that is is no different than listening to the radio. The majority of you people on the roads can not fucking drive anyway (those of us who can drive know who you are!) When the phone is on, your little ability to drive is gone! It never fails at the point I am hauling ass down the interstate in the left lane, which by the way, THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE MORONS, that when I come up on traffic, the guy who is causing it is always on the fucking phone!

First of all, you should not be talking on the phone while driving. Do you talk on the phone while you are having sex? Probably not. And why not? Because you are not supposed to be. You are supposed to be concentrating on screwing. Same thing in the car! You are supposed to be concentrating on DRIVING!

Next point, if you are not moving faster than the lane to your right, you should be in the lane to your right. The left lane is for PASSING, not for driving along at any fucking speed you feel like because you are king of the assholes. Get over to the right or I will rear end you! This also applies if the guy coming from behind you is going significantly faster than you! And don’t try and feed me that, “I am doing the speed limit. I can be in the left lane” bullshit! I will tell you right now, chances are you are not a cop and you have no right to try and stop me from speeding. It will get you nothing more than a bad case of the wrong end of road rage! And IF you are a cop, chances are I am not coming up on you from behind while you are in your patrol car. No patrol car, no right to slow me down. NOW MOVE YOUR SLOW RETARDED ASS OUT OF MY LEFT LANE!

As long as we are talking about the left lane, there is something else that REALLY pisses me off. When I am coming up on you in the left lane while you are in the right lane, DO NOT PULL OUT IN FRONT OF ME just because the guy ahead of you is going 1 MPH slower than you. Chances are I am going WAY faster than you and you will get a nice look at my front bumper. You are not that fucking important to have to pull out and slow me down so that you do not have to slow down.

There is a lot more that I see on the roads that burns my nut sack, but this is all I will post for now. The moral of this story? Don’t be a fucking ass monkey on the road and act like you are the most important person in the world. And remember, there is always someone out there that wants to go faster that you!