Archive for April, 2003

Tired of being raped by insurance companies?

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003

Well I am! And I, for one, am not going to take it anymore!

I am so sick and tired of the insurance companies changing the rules in the middle of the game, just to benefit themselves! It is time that we as the general population, get together and stand up for ourselves!

Visit Insurance Companies Suck

SpazMonkey Is Getting A Sister!

Friday, April 11th, 2003

I do not want to release too much information just yet, but SpazMonkey.com is getting a sister site. It will be a public access site that allows you to voice about anything you feel is a pain in your ass. If something is bothering you, you can get it off your chest. Wide open to the world. And you can even be anonymous if you choose!

How do you feel about this concept. Click the comment link below and let us know!

Bourne Identity – Movie Review

Tuesday, April 8th, 2003

Bourne Identity – Matt Damon (Jason Bourne), Franka Potente (Marie Kreutz) – This was a pretty decent movie. It had some incredible fight scenes and a decent car chase sequence. What stopped this movie from being a fantastic movie was the lack of enough of the prior mentioned features. I think more of the fight scenes would have been great.

The other thing that I faced with this movie is that is was sometimes loud, and in the next scene the dialog was almost a whisper. So it was an up and down game with the volume. (I watched it on DVD.)

Overall however it was a good movie and I am not sorry I watched it at all! You can see the official website at http://www.thebourneidentity.com

My Rating: 4 Monkeys

Basic – Movie Review

Saturday, April 5th, 2003

The movie review of Basic. Drama, Crime/Gangster and Thriller
1 hr. 35 min. Agent Hardy (Travolta) of the DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) is brought in by an old friend to investigate the disappearances of several Army Ranger cadets and their legendary drill instructor, West (Jackson), during an exercise at a basic training camp, Fort Clayton, in Panama.

Basic is a movie with a lot of twists and turns in it. If you are a type of person that does not like to do a lot of thinking while watching a movie then this movie is most likely not for you. With this movie you must pay attention to details to figure out the ending. I noticed that a lot of people were very confused at the ending. I admit it took me some time to grasp everything that happened in the movie. Basic is the type of movie that you will love or hate. I loved it.

Rating: 4 Monkeys

Random Drug Testing:

Friday, April 4th, 2003

The company I work for just started random drug testing! This was the first week of it. And let me be the first to say that what ever it was I tested, it was good and I hope I can get more! 🙂

Five Surgeons Are Having Lunch:

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end and
when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shuts them all up when he observes: “The French are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass are interchangeable.”

NOTE: If you are French and are offended, please email me so I may tell you that your country is run by cowards, to your face!

Where are manners anymore?

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003

Look, first of all, let me be clear and tell you that I am not that old. So it is not that I have been around for many decades, however, I have been here for three! And I am not sure if it occurred in my lifetime or it was already damaged by the time I realized, but where have manners gone? Now this might be strange coming from a guy who writes a website with some sick and twisted humor, but I still have manners. So what am I talking about? Well here are two stories that happened to me in the last couple of weeks…

I went to my least favorite Mega Store recently. Again we will call it Al-Mart. I do not normally go there except between the hours of 12 midnight and 4AM. But this time I had to go earlier. It was about 8PM. Now, the fact that people in general will just stop in the middle of a main isle to look at stuff is not bad enough. This is typical anymore, because people in general are inconsiderate of other people. They do not care that they are blocking the isle and making it an unhappy experience for other shoppers, just because they are too stupid to move their damn shopping cart to one side or the other! But this is a whole other rant! My point here today is that people have no manners. So back on track.

Once I made my selection of what I was buying, (which I can not remember what I went there for now,) I headed to the register. They were generally busy and I had to wait for the people already in line. (You see, when I stand in the front of Wal- err, I mean Al-Mart and yell, “OK people, I am the webmaster and genius behind spazmonkey.com! Get out of my way!” It does not work. I agree that it should, but it doesn’t! LOL!) So the people in front of me were attempting to buy some type of strange vegetable. Well the cashier had no idea what it was. And the messed up part was neither did the people buying it. The cashier kept saying over and over, “It looks like a pale carrot to me.” The manager came over and had no idea what it was either. The son of the guy in line went to see what it was. So we are now waiting on Chumly to go to the vegetable area and find it. So once he arrives back, and the cashier has said it looks like a pale carrot 8 billion times, he spells the name of it for her. HE COULD HAVE JUST TOLD HER HOW MUCH IT WAS! But no, he spells the name for her. Now I am getting a little pissed. I say to my girlfriend, in a voice plenty loud for all to here, “This is getting ridiculous!” The manager lady finally takes the “pale carrot” from the cashier and puts it in the basket and tells the guy not to worry about it. (Thank You Manager Lady! You Rule!) The man swipes his credit card to pay the bill and that is the point that I was really losing it. The cashier looks at the guy and says, “Jew got a ID?” WHAT? WHAT THE HELL DID SHE SAY? OK, so maybe it is just me, but what the hell happen to, “May I see your ID please sir?” Or even “I need to see your ID please.” But no! “Jew got a ID?” What the hell is this? If I was a manager, she would be fired! And to top it all off, at the point I get up there with my purchase. The first thing out of her mouth to me… “Looked like a pale carrot to me!” It should be legal to shoot stupid people!

So once again, last night I went to a very well known chicken place for dinner. We will call it CFK. As I approach the counter I begin my order, “I would like a number five with…” “Is this for here or to go?” WHAT? Did your un-ruley little ass just interrupt my order to ask me for here or to go and not do it politely? Grrrr. So once I tell him it was for there, I get, “OK, what do you want?” NO! Here is my issue. First of all what happen to please, thank you, and sir/ma’am? No one has manners anymore! What the hell is happening to the world? They say that the current generation is the most selfish generation yet, and you know what? I believe it! Something needs to be done! And soon!

NOTE: If you are one of the people who I talked about in this rant and you are mad… good! Feel free to contact me and request the story to be removed so I can call you a fucking idiot to your face.